Forgotten Tears of A Mother

Who would have  thought a 45 minute conversation  with my mother would  change my whole perspective and attitude towards my mom.  God has such a way of doing the unexpected and beyond expected. For many years I have carried resentment, UN-forgiveness, and hatred towards my mother for placing me in adoption.  5 years ago the lord placed my mother back into my life. I questioned God on many occasions and wrestled with the thought of having to honor my mother.  I’m  being real I promise I’m going somewhere with this post. I know I’m not the only kid  who is adopted and has had a hard time honoring their parents or even the thought of it.   But God used my mother’s story  to peel off misconceptions and deep hurts. Courageous, resilience, determination, warrior are some of the words God used to describe my mother and the new angle I saw her from.  Her story demolished words of slander family members spoke against her  It was like I was seeing a whole different person. As she shared her story I felt God restoring the

11109313_1654340571451146_1152077395946457953_opower  that stolen from her as she faced a lot of trauma and grief going.  My mother searched for her children for over 28-31  years. One day  when she went into a court on a church for her children  a judge commended her for looking for her children and prophesied she would be reunited with her girls. 28-31 years later she is beginning to live out the dream of mothering. God is truly faithful. A lesson that pours out of my mothers testimony is

we must keep fighting and keep standing on God’s promises. My mother held on to the word spoke over her life.  After hearing my mother’s story I wrote this poem because I felt l like many times we don’t look at adoption much from the birth mothers perspective.

Forgotten Tears of a Mother

I never thought of the other side of adoption, to be honest, I only saw a baby in a crib longing for her mother with her arms reaching high. I never thought of a mother reaching for a baby that would never arrive in her arms but in the arms of  child welfare . As the child grows up and wanders about their identity the mother wonders if her identity is bashed, slander and made out to be the mother who didn’t care.   A mother carries the guilt of feeling like a suspect when in reality she was a victim of what felt like a baby robbery. Carrying a sweet baby for nine months to be told your unqualified to be a mother so you don’t get a turn. You’re left wondering if your child will ever know you put up a fight for them. Will they ever know you fought tooth and nail. Or will they know your life felt incomplete because you was the missing piece. You felt life wasn’t worth living but you held on to the faith of God bringing renunciation.

A prayer for the for birth mother: Father God in the name of Jesus, Father I bind the spirit of condemnation , guilt, shame, depression , oppression and every tormenting spirit that says your not good enough. I break every curse spoken over your life . I break every chain that keeps rehearsing all the trauma  Father in the name of Jesus I declare you fill every mother out there with your love, your forgiveness your grace , your redemption your salvation. Father I speak life over them father I declare you give them give strength father I declare there ears hear joy,. Father your words says those who are weary and burden you will give them rest father I declare  rest over these mother . Father I declare their is justice where there needs to be. Father for those who have been falsely accused we declare lord you take revenge. . Father we declare you open up their eyes to joy. And father you fix their eyes on you. Father speak reunification . Father we declare supernatural miracles over each and everyone reading this. 

Love you treasures . You are loved not forgotten.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank-you for sharing this perspective! It’s one we do need to remember.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lindsey thank you for reading I love the name of your blog and everything you are writing about trauma has such an impact on children and even learning more about my birth mother trauma has taken a hard hit on her . I can’t wait to read your post. One of them that really grab my eye is the Bible scripture affirmations. I can’t wait to read thanks for stopping by.

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      1. I’m happy to have found your site–I’ve been browsing and your perspective as an adoptee is SO needed! Thanks for stopping by my site- I hope you find something that blesses you!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m a birthmark also, and even though nobody took my child or told me I was no good, I already felt that way. So I voluntarily relinquished him for his good. Thirty years later, he contacted me, & thankfully, he claimed no I’ll feelings toward me.
    I’m also a half-adoptee. When I learned that my father wasn’t my bio father, I learned what it felt like to wonder why my b.father didn’t want me. Through God-ordained circumstances, He cleansed all my freaky feelings from both sides of this adoption issue and made me able to praise Him for grace in my life.
    Thank you for your story, and your prayer. Well written, we’ll received.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing that . It’s so awesome you had a great good experience with meeting your son. That’s great. Thanks for sharing about the feelings God cleansed you from. God truly is a healer. Thank you again look forward to reading more of your blog just finish two article your a great writer . When you write I feel like we’re just sitting down having coffee or tea . Thank you again

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  3. Kafayat says:

    I’m so proud of you S😘 For being brave enough to share your stories.

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    1. Thanks love can’t wait to watch you fashion YouTube videos

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