At the age of 14, I could pretty much name every self-help book out there. Its fair to say since I was younger I’ve been trying to fix myself. The mirror has always reflected brokenness to me. If you would have ask me if I could have anything in the world what would it be ?I would have blurted out FREEDOM. Not because I was teenage looking to stay out late with friends but because I felt like an eagle in a hamster cage. I was a walking wound looking for wound care in all the wrong places infecting everything I connected with.
I’ve battle with depression since I was 5 years old. I must say the devil was pretty strategic when he crafted the spirit of Depression. Think about it. Our mind is
everything and when we loose control we are nothing but a horse with the enemy moving the bit in our mouth. Do you know what a “BIT” is? Its a piece of metal which goes in a horse mouth which give the horse rider control over the horse. One more cool fact I just read about the BIT. If a horse doesn’t have a BIT than he is not mentally one with his rider. Did you get it. If Satan doesn’t have our mind he cant be one with us. Keeping our mind on Jesus is so important. This was a revelation to me OMG! Depression makes you look okay on the outside while your rotting on the inside.
When I enter the Foster Care system at 17 I was introduced to different advocacy groups. I met many good people, but something that I heard frequently was to ” Embrace your Mental Illness ” or ” We were born this way” being 100% honest I begin to start believing that. Sometimes I would think because I went through so much trauma this would be my indentity for the rest of my life. Deep down I still longed for healing and freedom.
In November 2014, my life was marked forever It started with my sister’s faith journey of the Lord moving her from New York to Florida. She began attending a church called King Jesus Ministry. At the time I was doing missions work on the west coast. My sister would share stories upon stories of God’s healing. I mean healing like I never heardbefore. Healing’s never talked about in churches. Healing’s of depression, suicide, sexual abuse, HIV, cancer anything you could think of the world says cant be healed it was healed. There were inner deliverance breaking free from generational curses and much more. As my sister would share stories I felt like a bird wanting to spread out my wings fully.
After missions there was only one place for me to go and that was Florida. I was on the search for my freedom. Stepping into King Jesus Ministry was above and beyond my expectations I encountered God’s FREEDOM! Where the spirit of the lord is there is truly is freedom. Just driving down the road which leads to the church I felt a peace like I never felt before. It was like all emotions and inner thoughts were turned off for once. It was like God was creating new pavement as I embraced this new journey. ALERT: I’m not saying I’m perfect and didn’t have struggles I just telling you what God did for me.
The lord was beginning to do a work in me. Sometimes before the service even began tears stream down my face. I believe many of those tears were years worth of darkness and sadness washing away. Nothing is about feelings at this church but Foundation and identity something I never had. Sometimes churches can be so emotional driven but not King Jesus. For over 25 years I wore many masks. I had a closet full of mask all different personalities and God is still cleaning them out. The more I seek God the more mask fall to the ground and I’m clothed in my true identity. One piece of advice I would like to share is HEALING IS OUR CHOICE. We have to want it and not become passive. God promises never change. The bible is full of stories of restorations but people didn’t just sit around waiting to be healed. When the man couldn’t walk and was laying by the water Jesus said ” RISE UP, TAKE UP YOUR BED” – John 5:8.
We have to make that choice. Sometimes change is scary. We have to keep pushing. One of my biggest prayers is for God to be introduced in the Mental Health system I’ve met so many people who have spent years trying different medications, hospitals, therapists and they have come out the same or with more problems. Jesus healing has no side effects no alternative motives he just want to heal you and make you well. I believe in Jesus as the one and only true healer. God is so cool that he can touch you once and fix everything you have been trying to fix for a lifetime. Or he can continuously work on your heart and heal you like he is doing for me. I’m amazed by what God is doing in my life. The more I seek God I’m overwhelmed with love and restoration.
Also I want to share a few of my Spiritual Father Apostle Guillermo Maldonado books that changed my life.
- Supernatural Deliverance Freedom for your Soul, Mind & Emotions
- Overcoming Depression
- Supernatural Transformation
- Overcoming Fear
- The Dangers of Un-Forgiveness ( Starting this one this week)
To purchase books above or learn more about King Jesus Ministry check out the website http://www.elreyjesus.org/
Are you believing for healing you will receive it in the name of Jesus keep pushing
Love you treasures